"Why?" she whispers, a look of pity on her face, as the knife in her chest glares at me, blood slowly dripping, forming a small puddle on the floor.

"I had to," I sob. "I had to. You know that, right? You understand that, right?"

She just looks at me.

"Ever since I can remember, everything... everything," I start, a tear sliding down my left cheek. "I... I just wanted to be a part of them. Of... of the better ones."

"Why?" she repeats, her voice barely more than a squeak, and I manage to, somehow, hear it.

"I couldn't do it, you know that, I could never pretend. I was never a part of them. I tried, love, I tried."

"Never enough," she said.

And I try not to break down at the pain on her face, try to look at something else, something... better.

"If I told you what I am," I say, as she smiles, the bleak grey of the atmosphere bright, but it wasn't to stay for long. "Would you stay?"
"Of course, sweetheart. Forever."
"I turn everything dark," I sob. "Everything. I ruin everything I touch."

"Oh, sweetheart," she whispers. "I was already a ruin."

But I know she wasn't.

If perfection had a face, it was hers.

"How do I go on? What do I do?" I shout at the sky. "Help, please... please..."
Yet the heavens stay unnervingly quiet.
"You cursed me," I continue. "You... you left me alone, and... and..."
Silence has never been so vexing.
"Guide me," I shout. "You give me a candle to find my way through an abyss, and you expect me to make it through?"
A sad, weary voice pokes through the clouds. "I try, darling. Every day, every minute, I try. And I will keep doing so. Forever. As long as you try with me."
And my eyes open-
to the pain she had faced.

"I'm sorry," I manage to say through choking on my sobs. "I'm so sorry. I'm a monster for what I did to you."

She only smiles.

"It's getting stronger," I say. "Help. Please."

"Dear," she whispers. "There's only one way I can help you now." And holds out her hand, with one small white tablet on it.

"No," I scream. "No, no, no, no, never."

"Love," she tries to coax, but all I ever hear is an incessant screaming. Loud, shrill, and it takes over everything, going on and on like a siren, continuous, blaring, and it never seems to end, oh, it never seems to end.

"Take it," she says again, her voice gentle yet firm. "Please."

"That... that would be the end of you," I cry. "I could... I could never live without you."

"You are," she says. "Beautifully. I love you, you know that? I love you so, so much."

And I gasp as my tears stream down my face, trying, trying so hard to keep it together.

"Please, love," she says. "Do it for me."

"You promise you'll be fine?"

"I promise," she says, and I know deep within me she's lying, yet I believe her. I need to.

"I love you," I mutter under my breath, closing my eyes. "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."

And I take the pill and swallow it, my throat bobbing as it goes down.

I slowly open my eyes, as the knife clatters to the floor. "I'll see you in another time."